Your Ancestor’s Marriage Customs and Genealogy

Happy Valentine’s month everyone! Isn’t it great to celebrate love in all of its forms?  Love for a friend, spouse, child, coworker, neighbor, cousin, aunt, uncle, grandparent, etc. is what we are all about this month. To me it’s like a second Christmas. I want to feel that warm magical feeling that makes me love the world. I might be a romantic at heart, but I don’t care. It feels great!

So how does love apply to genealogy? Let’s talk about Scandinavian marriage customs in this article. That’s how it applies!  So for the month of February we will be talking about different aspects of marriage, marriage records, what to look for, how to find them, etc. So let’s get started!

Here are the Scandinavian words for engagement and marriage.  These are good to have in your toolkit when searching for church records. If you see these words on a church record, then you know that you’re in a marriage registry.

• Danish — trolovede, ægteviede– copulerede, vielse, bryllup
• Norwegian — trolovelse, egteviede– copulerede, gift, vielse
• Swedish — lysninger lysning– gift, vigda, giftermål, brudfolk, vigde, vigsel
• Icelandic — trúlofast, hjónaband– giftur, hjón, brudhjón
• Finnish — kuulutetut– vihityt, vihki

In general, Scandinavian engagements were conducted by the men of both families.  They would negotiate the particulars about dowry and bride price and then formally bind the couple together. Engagements could take place anytime from three weeks to two years before the marriage date. Once the couple were engaged, there was a reading of the banns in church at least three times before their marriage.  In this way, anyone who had reason to object the marriage could do so. Engagement dates were usually recorded on the church record as well as the marriage date.

In many cases, the engagement was more important than the formal marriage date. Many couples were allowed to live together as man and wife once they were formally engaged.  Therefore, many firstborn children could be born shortly before or after the marriage date.   Sometimes there were engagement records separate from the marriage record.  These records recorded the names of the bondsmen, or marriage witnesses that showed by their signature that they knew of no reason why the couple could not get married. These names are usually family members and could be clues to gathering more information about the extended family.

As a general rule, the couple were married in the bride’s home parish.  Then they would move to the groom’s parish and raise their family. If the groom was a widower and had an establishment, then the couple were sometimes married in his parish or at his house. It was also the custom for people to marry much older or much younger than they were. There were a variety of reasons for this custom, but one of the biggest reasons was land and property.

So that’s the general rule for Scandinavian marriages, but don’t be afraid to look up the individual countries customs to find that elusive marriage record. In the following posts, I will go in more detail about how to find the marriage records and what to look for when you do find them.

For now, let’s go into some of the social customs established for each country during certain times.

Norway

1. Vikings had some customs such as never getting married in the winter because family couldn’t travel to the wedding.

2. Both grooms and brides took a ritual bath before the wedding day to wash away their old life as single people.

3. Women didn’t wear special wedding clothes.  Instead, they let their hair do the talking.  They would wear it long with a simple bridal crown on top.

4. Men also didn’t wear special wedding clothes.  They carried symbolic weapons such as an ancestor’s sword or a Thor’s hammer.

5. Vikings made animal sacrifices to the gods of fertility for the couple and in some cases, the animals were given as living gifts.

Sweden

1. Swedes buy a plain gold band for both men and women and then buy a diamond or another gold band for the wedding day.

2. The bride and groom walk down the aisle together instead of having the father walk the bride down the aisle.

3. The bride would wear a bridal crown made of myrtle leaves as a symbol of innocence.

4. The bride carries a silver coin in one shoe and a gold coin in the other shoe on her wedding day. This is to symbolize that she will never go without.

5. The seating is shaped into a U-shape instead of long rows to allow their guests to mingle better.

Denmark

1. They would have a “Gate of Honor” – a fine archway of evergreen leaves and flowers erected outside the bride’s home for her to walk through on her wedding day.

2. The bride is escorted by her father and they both arrive last to the ceremony.

3. The bride sits with her father and the groom sits separately with his best man. Then after the couple say their vows, the father and best man ceremoniously switch seats and the couple are declared married.

4. At the midnight hour of their wedding day, the couple’s unified status becomes official.

Isn’t it interesting to learn other cultures? I just love it! Some of these traditions are still practiced today, but some of have been lost to the past. However, these traditions are still important to know so that we can understand our ancestors. How did your ancestors celebrate their marriages? What customs lasted the test of time and are still done in your family? Ask your family what they remember about their ancestor’s weddings. You might learn some new things that will help you appreciate your family even more.

As always, good luck and happy hunting!

Tiffany